- Hormone Hostage Husbands
- Weight Loss for Holy Hotties
- Hormone Hostage Hair
THOUGHTS ON MENOPAUSE
From a Hormone Hostage Husband
By Lew Boore (Danna's HHH)
Ladies, perhaps you feel alone and misunderstood in this season of "pre" or "post" menopause. If you are in your early to mid-forties, you may even wonder, "What is happening to me, I'm too young to be having hot flashes!" And, most likely your husband is also a bit confused wondering, "Who IS this person sharing my bed?" One minute you're too hot, the next too cold. What used to be great is now terrible and sometimes he's just not sure how to respond lest he get his head bitten off! Well today, Danna has given me (her husband, Lew) the honor of speaking to you from a man's perspective. If you find some of what I say resonates with your situation - please share it with your husband. Most are struggling to understand and negotiate your new "phase".
Throughout Danna's book, THE HEAT IS ON, she provides a reasoned God-centered approach for women to take in their journey through menopause. I love that word...journey. It is more than just a trip. For me, living with Danna has always meant adventure. And, an adventure is always best when it is shared. Husbands must make a decision to take the journey with their wife and help her realize she's not alone. It took me a while to understand this. It took even more time for me to gather the courage to actually talk to Danna about it. After all, if I don't bring it up and we don't talk about it, won't it all just go away? Nope. So, here's some practical advice to pass on to your HHH:
Hormone Healthy Hints from an HHH survivor
1. Pray with your wife.
If you have never done it, START. It took me years to understand that true intimacy is not only the connection that you have sexually with your wife; it is the shared intimacy that you have with her through Christ.
2. Empathize with her.
Understand that she doesn't want to go through this anymore than you! But, she has no choice. It is time for us, as men of God to accept the meaning of the word sacrifice! Believe it or not, she knows that she is being an irritation to you and the entire family, whether it shows externally or not.
3. Accept reality and change your expectations.
Accept the fact that "things" are going to be changing. The woman you married may break down occasionally. She cannot be the Proverbs 31 woman every day of her life. (I think that woman is actually a compilation of all the good qualities a woman can have rolled into one example.) Bottom line: Have realistic expectations.
4. Listen to her...hear her.
Ask her what connotes love to her now. It could be as simple as just listening (hint: that means ACTIVE listening...not just hearing her talk). Maybe she needs time alone. (Hey, this is a chance for you to get to know your children better!) Or, maybe she needs more help around the house. (Think of your helping hand as a good way to get a "cheap" workout, plus reacquaint yourself with the property you own or rent.)
What irritates or makes her less than comfortable? Are your funny little nuances now irritating habits? Talk about sexual intimacy; even if it is not normal for you to do so. Understand that the frequency may change and ACCEPT it! Never use a "guilt trip" to manipulate your wife into having sex. Try to understand what's going on in her mind and body. Whether emotional or physical, she may need time to adjust to the huge changes occurring.
5. Pray with your wife.
Yes, I know I already said this. This is what I call a "reinforcement" to emphasize an important point. Prayer is the most powerful tool you have to connect you both supernaturally to the only One who has any control over your life.
Do you remember when your Dad had "the talk" with you? Boy, I sure wish that dear old Dad would have clued me into this "menopause thing". Men, take heart. In time, your "real" wife will reimmerge. It is up to you, with our Lord's strength, to come along side that wonderful woman you married. And, most likely you'll need to pick her up and carry her now and then. Show her the man that God intended YOU to be.
My friend, I pray for your strength on this rollercoaster trip. I pray you'll apply God's wisdom to your specific challenges. I pray for you to be courageous, when lesser men would "cut & run". I pray blessings on you, your family and your marriage.
Oh...and welcome to the HHH Club!
WEIGHT LOSS FOR HOLY HOTTIES
1. Can women facing menopause and beyond actually lose weight?
2. Is it possible to have a waist again?
3. Are we destined to finish our years in stretch pants and moo moos?
Yes, Yes, No!
After years of battling with emotional eating and bulimia - I found total victory over my food issues and maintained a healthy size six to eight for over 30 years. But as menopause approached, I found myself giving in just a little to food cravings and exercising less because of fatigue associated with sleepless nights from endless hot flashes. While I never outgrew my size eight jeans, I did surrender to the inevitable reality of a slightly thicker waist and belief that it was perhaps time to give away my size six clothes. Isn't it ironic that many of us add an extra fat pad of insulation on our bodies just when we need it the least!
But as my sleep improved - thanks to some great natural products - such as the Femmenessence I spoke about in my Growing Young Blog #2 - I began to see light at the end of the tunnel and return to my more regular exercise routine. Fortunately, I stopped adding fat - but I seemed to be stuck one size larger. This summer as I turned 58, I decided it was time to get more serious and see if it was still possible to be as lean as I was in my forties. I don't want to be obsessed about being thin - been there done that. But I know (because I've taught it for years) that weight gain is an insidious process that happens one fat cell at a time and can creep up unexpectedly if you don't pay attention. I also know that there is only ONE proven way to increase longevity in both animals and humans - eat less calories! So with that in mind, I decided a reality check was in order.
Reality Check
I pulled out one of my favorite tools, my Caltrac activity monitor, and practiced what I've been preaching for years about doing a "reality check" on your energy equation (intake versus output). I learned for myself that I was pretty much eating and burning the same amount of calories. The good news was that I was not gaining weight - but the bad news was that I wasn't losing either.
I decide to wear my use my Caltrac religiously for a couple months and try to burn at least 200 calories a day more than I ate...and guess what? I have my old waist back! I've lost about ten pounds by simply paying attention to the details and can wear my size six jeans again. I also reaffirmed that "Holy Hotties" can't use menopause as an excuse. While we may store fat a little more readily than we once did, we can still be reasonably lean. It may take a little longer, but we can do it.
Caltrac Club?
The problem is that most people won't take the time and energy to get a true reality check. Unfortunately, calorie estimation is simply "guesstimation". I'm a walking calorie counter and I still deceive myself if I don't either write my calories down or put them in my Caltrac. Now that I'm back to my old normal, I won't continue counting calories every day and wearing my Caltrac. But when I see or feel a little weight gain creeping on, I'll put the Caltrac back on and get back to my "reality checking" for a week or so. I've also learned to play some very useful games with myself and hope to start a little "Caltrac Club" with a few of you who want to test out my ideas personally. Email me if you are interested!
Be Gone Appetite
While on this journey to lose my menopause fat pad, I was asked by my friend and former radio co-host, naturopathic doctor, Mark Stengler to test a new product he is using with his weight loss clients. Now, you must know that I am VERY skeptical about products that deal with appetite. We certainly know the dangers of amphetamines, but also very popular products such as ephedra which was ultimately outlawed by the FDA because of the unhealthy side effects. Nevertheless, I have the highest regard for Dr. Stengler and trust his well-balanced and natural approach to health. He's a strong Christian and does not support doing anything that is simply a a quick fix.
Slimaluma
Mark explained that the "Slimaluma" product he wanted me to evaluate is an extract that he has patented from the Caralluma Fimbriata plant used in India for centuries to diminish appetite and hunger during times of famine. It is combined with green tree extract which helps support a healthy metabolism. His doctor approved clinical formula contains no harmful stimulants. So, in my usual skeptical way, I took a dose one day about an hour before lunch. I got busy with a project and...forgot to eat lunch. I ate a small snack about 4pm and then still had a somewhat diminished appetite at dinner. One day, I took the Slimaluma after two cups of coffee - rather than my usual cup of herbal tea - and felt a little "racy" for about an hour. I continued to test the product over the last six weeks, usually just taking one dose a day (two are recommend for weight loss) four or five times a week. I have found it consistently helpful - so much so that I've added it to my website store.
Whether you have 10 or 100 pounds of excess fat on your body, you lose them the same way - by burning more calories than you eat day after day. If you burn 100 calories per day more than you eat - you'll lose one pound a month. If you burn an extra 200 a day, then you'll lose two pounds a month. The slower you lose it, the more likely it will stay off. If you want to truly grow young and increase your longevity - start a reality check today!
HORMONE HOSTAGE HAIR!
Raging hormones also affect your hair! According to senior stylist, Jamie Lee, hair becomes much dryer as women begin to experience the hormone fluctuations of "peri" and "post" menopause. Additionally, many women begin taking thyroid and hormone replacement in their forties and fifties which can result in the "frizzies" or other changes in texture. She recommends keeping the hair well conditioned with an occasional deep protein treatment. She also recommends a process called a "Brazilian Blowout" to calm down your menopausal mane.
It is also important to have an excellent color specialist deal with the challenges of covering gray hair and protecting from further damage. This is not the best time for women to do their own color. Color done correctly can create a better texture and increase shine and manageability.
From a "growing young" perspective, Jamie recommends that women go lighter rather than darker as they mature. Lighter hair or gentle highlights (even one shade) softens the face. If you live in the San Diego area and would like a free consultation with Jamie, she works in Solana Beach and can be reached at: 6192749137
P.S. Jamie is my oldest daughter! God has a wonderful sense of humor. Both my daughters were a bit "challenging" as teens and young adults. Now, both in their 30's - they are a delight and my best friends. BUT...they caused so many premature gray hairs in my forties that God has blessed me by charging them with the lifelong task of keeping their mom "brown" for life! While staying youthful starts in the mind, most of us prefer to cover our gray so our hair color matches our attitude!
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