Life is Manageable at Best
By Danna Demetre

back to articles

Life is manageable at best. That’s what my pastor, Tim Scott says. Hearing that statement for the first time during one of my “up” years made me wonder, “Gee, why is he being so negative? Life is wonderful. We are blessed. It’s all about attitude and gratitude, isn’t it?”

Well that was then, and this is now. And today, I say… “Life is manageable at best!” I just received some pretty troubling news this morning. There was some difficult “stuff” to deal with yesterday. I’m struggling with my own inadequacies. And, then there’s a daughter with an uncertain future, emergency surgeries, unpaid bills, decreasing income. The list goes on and on. Have I gotten you depressed yet? Wait! Don’t stop reading…I think I know the answer if you’ll just hang in there with me.

They just don’t know
Life is full of mountaintop and valley experiences. There are both smooth and rocky paths along the journey. One thing we can be sure of is that neither will last indefinitely. I remember a friend telling me about one of her most gut wrenching times. She had just learned that her four-year old son had a very serious form of leukemia. She sat in the hospital parking lot procrastinating the next painful visit. As she looked at all the people walking by she thought, “They just don’t know the pain I am enduring right now.” Then as quickly as that thought had come, another even more profound one bombarded her heart, “And I don’t know what pain they are enduring right now either.”

We don’t know how others are managing life. Perhaps outwardly everything appears fine. Some people handle their surface emotions with great control. Does that mean they hurt less? Yet, we are all guilty at times of judging how others are dealing with their life issues. Some of us are more skilled or perhaps just more experienced at dealing with pain. Nevertheless, we’re all vulnerable to the complexities of relationships, the chaos of circumstance and the fragility of our existence.

Here’s an intense mental exercise for you:
The next time you’re about to make a first impression or file away a private “opinion” about someone, just imagine that you’re able to see a slide show of their deepest hurts or devastating fears. If we could see to the heart and soul of others, I have to believe our compassion and patience; our grace and mercy would flow like rivers.

Joy, joy, joy
There are those that would say, that we are not living a truly “Christian “ life unless we are filled with joy at all times. I’m a pretty positive, upbeat person. It takes a lot to get me down. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a true episode of depression. Yet, I don’t always feel joyful. And I don’t believe we should “fake it until God makes it so.”

Sometimes that sugary sweet “Pollyanna” approach to life seems a bit contrived and downright nauseating. You know, the “Sun will come out tomorrow”, “Every cloud has a silver lining”, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”, clichés that you hear. Let’s not go there. I think there is only one place to get the perspective we need to address life at its best and at its worst. That place is God’s Word.

Managing life requires wisdom
Managing life with all its ups and downs requires true wisdom. My definition of wisdom is “the knowledge of truth applied appropriately to the details of life.” James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God and it will be given. Yet, that wisdom isn’t dropped like a mist from heaven. We are also told in 2 Timothy that all scripture is inspired and profitable for training us so that we will be equipped for life. So, when we pray for wisdom, it makes sense that we are praying for a better understanding of God’s Word. If we don’t put God’s Word into our mind through study and meditation, why should He give us the wisdom to apply it to our lives?

Managing life requires perspective
Jesus’ teaching helps us gain an accurate and eternal perspective about managing life “in the moment”. In Matthew 6:27 he says, “And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?” And later, “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

When Christ taught the disciples how to pray for their temporal needs, He tells them to ask God to, “Give us this day our daily bread.” That was all they needed at the moment. And the writer of Proverbs 30:8 asks the Lord, “Give me neither poverty nor riches; but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.” Our culture says “more, more, more!” Our God says, “enough is enough”. Gee, I wonder which path will lead us to the a life of greater fulfillment?

How often we fret and fuss about tomorrow long before its time. Worry and stress are first and foremost a state of mind, a perspective. It must be possible for us to change our perspective if Jesus tells us not to worry. Whether it’s worry, fear, ungratefulness or anger, we can change our perspective by changing our mind. We change our mind by filling it with truth.

Got Worry? Get truth. Pour it in, chew on it, meditate and repeat it until you are transformed by the renewing of your mind. Whether it is food, health, relationships or money getting you down, God’s grace is sufficient for this moment. That doesn’t mean you won’t struggle. It doesn’t mean you won’t desire easier times. But, with the right perspective you will have the perseverance and gratitude to get through. Life IS manageable today IF you can keep your mind IN today.

Managing life requires proper expectations
One of the big problems about managing life is that our expectations are out of sync with reality. We not only seek people to satisfy our deepest needs, we seek happiness and success. Growing up in an American culture we come to believe that we have a right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. It is a free country isn’t it? We are entitled to certain basics…aren’t we? Perhaps no. Read the book of Job from beginning to end. When God speaks to Job in a whirlwind, it gives us an understanding as to exactly what our rights really are.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon says that we can get absolutely everything we could possibly want under the sun…and still we won’t be satisfied. In his words, “Life is vanity; it’s empty, unable to fulfill. He should know…he had everything according to the world’s standards. He concludes at the end of the book that there is one thing only worth pursuing…God and his truth. That brings me to my next point…

Managing life requires a priority of relationships
As Pastor Tim Scott says, “We have a skewed notion that our human relationships will fulfill all of our deepest needs. So, what if we do find the best spouse? What if we find the perfect best friend? What if we find the best social group? Well, it may last…and it may not. There are things that happen that are out of our control. We are vulnerable to the winds of change…both circumstantial and relational. That’s because people defect, fail, misunderstand or die. We have a need for both human and divine intimacy. But, we tend to put the human as a higher priority and thus sabotage our ability to deeply connect with both God and others. We act as if finding the right friend or the right spouse will fulfill all our needs. In essence this is saying that we really don’t need God. The truth is, two fallen humans don’t guarantee permanent intimacy. Human connection alone will never be enough for our souls to be satisfied.“

When humans abandon one another for whatever reason, God remains faithful. To manage life effectively, we must put Him first. Our connection with our perfect Creator will help us maintain a healthier perspective and connection to our imperfect partners in life! It is difficult to give pure, unconditional love until we have known the Author of love.

Managing life requires surrender
Perhaps you agree with most of what I’ve said. Your faith is strong and you go to the Bible for answers and direction. You go to God in prayer. And yet, you wonder why you still struggle with the “joy factor” some Christians seem to bubble over. You wonder why you can’t seem to get a handle on it. We’re often told that more knowledge, more commitment, more giving, more prayer – will diminish or even eliminate our sense of struggle and pain. But, perhaps we are trying to rush too quickly through our times in the valley of life. Perhaps, God has allowed these seasons for a purpose.

It seems to reason that the deeper the valleys, the higher the mountaintops would appear. How can we completely understand hope unless we have known despair? How can we fully appreciate joy unless we’ve known sorrow? How can we comprehend our complete need for God if we are able to meet all of our needs on our own? In order to “manage today” we must surrender to His wisdom and sovereignty with a heart of trust. Not with a “put on” positive attitude, but with a transformed soul.

In his book, Inside Out, Dr. Larry Crabb says: "When the fact is faced that life can be profoundly disappointing, the only way to make it is to learn to love. And only those who are no longer consumed with finding satisfaction now are able to love. Only when we commit our yearnings for perfect joy to a Father we have learned to deeply trust are we free to live for others despite the reality of a perpetual ache…Our Lord came to bring life. We can possess much of His life now, but we must look forward to enjoying perfect life later."

In the meantime, we can allow Him to change us into people who can live in this imperfect world with true wisdom, a godly perspective, realistic expectations, God-first relationships and a heart of surrender. We are in the world but not of the world. Life may be “manageable at best” today. But the future is perfectly managed and waiting for YOU if you are trusting in Him alone for your future.

back to articles